Recovery is Not Linear

A lot of people are struggling right now. A lot of us found ourselves suddenly robbed of our routines, our social lives, and our support groups as the world floundered its way through a pandemic and an ocean of "I told you so"s from talking heads on the television. 

You might be thinking that it's getting tiring to hear about it all the time, and you'd like to leave it all in the past. Just move on with life and rebuild as much as we can. No need to focus on the negativity when things are opening up again, right? 

Wrong. 

Because recovery isn't linear. 

Just because the government-mandated isolation is mostly over doesn't mean that the effects are going to evaporate without a trace. And just because 2020 ended more than 9 months ago doesn't mean that the ripples it caused aren't still rocking the boat. 

I want you to consider for a moment. How have you changed over the last year and a half? No? Let's try again. 

What if it was someone else? If they were in jail for 18 months, would you expect them to be the same person when they came out? 

Tension, fear, and isolation can all have big, negative impacts on a person. These can be exacerbated if Family Issues are added to the pile, and mental health can deteriorate, even for someone who feels like everything is still under control. 

I know that I thought everything was fine, since my routine basically didn't change. I was an essential worker, I could still see my best friend, and I was living with my family so I wasn't alone. But that didn't stop my support network from falling apart, my mental health from going sour, or my future plans getting turned on their heads. 

Going into 2020, I had five excellent friends I could trust with anything, a handful of plans for my future, a supportive family and high hopes. By the time summer 2021 hit (also known as 2020 2; Electric Boogaloo) I was down to one close friend, my plans were all in a jumble, and my family and I were at odds over my newly discovered sexuality. 

I am still recovering from this. I'm taking medicine for my depression, I've moved in with my partner, and I'm working on getting my cat certified as an emotional support animal. But that doesn't mean that I'm on a straight path "back to normal." Things will have changed, and there will still be days when things feel like they're falling apart. 

As Molly Burke says, "Recovery is not linear. But I learned that even though life has ups and downs, it's about riding the downs, knowing that they'll end. I don't really like roller coasters, but life is a roller coaster worth riding." (Paraphrased from It's Not What It Looks Like.)