A New Start

Are you guys getting tired of me talking about how hard it is to make a new habit? No? Good, because that's what I'm talking about again today. :D 

Through the month of November, I've worked hard to keep up a daily writing habit. One has to, if one is going to participate in NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month). But I'm struggling to find a consistent time in my schedule during which to write. I'd like to write in the morning, but feel the need to dedicate that time in other ways. I'd like to write first thing after my partner goes to work, but I've assigned that slot to my Bible reading. 

Which begs the question: when do I find time to write? 

The answer is simply... whenever I have a minute to do so. 

A million years ago, while I was still in college, my Creative Nonfiction professor pointed to me as an example of what a professional writer should look like. The fact that I carried a notebook with me wherever I went and spent spare moments scribbling instead of talking to real people was apparently a good thing. I have never let that go, and sometimes even cite it as a reason that I'm perfectly well adjusted, thank you very much. 

For some reason, this doesn't convince a lot of people. 

What it does do, though, is ensure that even when I don't have a lot of free time, I do get some writing done, one way or another. That habit of stealing a few minutes or an hour here and there to write something has stuck with me. And maybe that's just how I'm going to write for now. 

But hopefully I'll get myself a real schedule. Eventually. Somehow. 

Learning at the Feet of the Master

Recently I passed a milestone in my personal development as a Grown-Up Person, coming to the realization that "icky sex things" are not necessarily Bad or Embarrassing, but simply a factor in normal human life. For the last several months, I've been working to become more comfortable with the human body, in addition to discarding the male-oriented perception of the female body as inherently "sexy." Exposed breasts are not permitted in most public spaces in the US, and this is in fact a punishable offense, logged as "indecent exposure" for which an AFAB person may be fined. 

A couple years ago, or even just ten months ago, I might have agreed that exposure of "private parts" such as the breasts, groin, or buttocks of any given person was "indecent" and ought not be permitted in public spaces. I might have argued that there is even a precedent for this, in recent laws concerning the legalization marijuana use in private spaces but not in public ones, due to a general concern about second-hand exposure. (At least, I think that was the reason. All my information at the time was pretty second-hand so I guess my exposure to the issue might be insufficient.)

My gradual understanding of how it was okay to live in a meatsuit and take care of it in ways that maybe I'm unfamiliar with has been in development for some time, and I am now more of the opinion that sex is like acupuncture (a thing that helps people and is generally pleasant, but frightening specifically for me and my innocent asexual brain). The big turning point - or at least the point at which I understood what change had been wrought inside my fragile headspace - was on viewing this video by the gorgeous and intelligent YouTuber Natalie Wynn, AKA "Contrapoints." 

During the course of this video, the stunningly attractive and educated Natalie goes into some detail concerning the physical experience of erotic pleasure with a variety of partners, and the phrase "chicks with dicks" is repeated several times. Some of you who know me well are familiar with my aversion to what I might refer to as "vulgar language," either in the form of swearing or in reference to the human body. My reasoning on that front is something I will address on another day. Not very long ago, when the subject of physical intimacy came up I would often turn off the media discussing the topic, or simply get up and leave the room. I surprised myself by not only failing to remove myself from what my brain still perceived as an uncomfortable conversation, but by paying closer attention to what Natalie had to say about both heterosexual and homosexual intimacy. 

Since that day and that video, I have watched several hours of Natalie's content, learning more about the LGBTQ+ community and the issues that face many of my friends. (For example, there's an in-depth video Natalie did on the subject of "incels," which was a word I had struggled with understanding several months ago, much to the frustration of my LGBTQ+ friends.) The freedom and ability to learn, as well as the emotional and mental stability necessary to challenge and change incorrect or harmful preconceptions has been a major blessing, especially in this time of... hm, shall we call it "political fuse-lighting"? That seems accurate. There are a lot of people pushing hot button topics on others with the apparent purpose of triggering them or at least making them become angry and defensive. 

So allow me to wrap up this somewhat rambling account with a few concise sentences, to sum up my current worldview: 
1. The human body is beautiful, and worthy of respect in all its forms and contexts. 
2. The human body, when nude, is neither inherently bad nor inherently sexual. 
3. The human body does not dictate the identity, needs, or desires of the person who inhabits it. 
4. Judging a person by their appearance or experience is both rude and risky. 

So what about you, my friends? Have you had any foundation-shaking revelations lately?