For those of you that don't know, I identify as asexual. There are some people on both extremes of the political spectrum that seem to think asexuality either isn't real or is just an imaginary stepping-stone toward the "real thing" (that is, probably being gay). The truth is neither of those things, but since when have extremists been right about everything?
"Asexual" literally means "not sexual." As with most things, it is a spectrum of possible feelings, ranging from enjoying sex but only with a specific person (demi-sexual), enjoying sex but not really pursuing it (sex-ambivalent), or not liking sex at all (sex-averse). Some asexual (or "ace") folk have an average level of libido, but don't want to be touched by another person, others have little or no libido at all.
There are, to be fair, some people that think they may be ace for a time, but later discover that they are sexually attracted to a kind of person they hadn't encountered or spent significant time with in the past. This is perfectly acceptable and valid. "Asexual" is a label one claims for oneself, and does not change the nature of the person taking on the label. It's just a good way to communicate to others what one's preferences may be.
As mentioned above, I identify as asexual. More specifically, I am "sex-repulsed," meaning that I do not only not pursue sex, I actively avoid it.
If you are curious how I figured that out, allow me to summarize: I am 30 years old, and as of this writing, I have never felt the desire or willingness to undress, be touched, or to kiss in any particularly physical way. In fact, the only time I have had another person's tongue in my mouth, I immediately asked them to put it away, because it felt gross to me. Through high school and college, I thought that when people talked about how "hot" someone was, they were merely commenting on the adherence of a specific person's aesthetic quality to the accepted social standard.
This person has visible abdominal muscles and a pleasantly golden-brown tan, they must be "hot."
And to be clear, being ace is not something that's wrong with me. I am not sad because I cannot find pleasure in sex - that would be like asking someone who's afraid of bees if they're sad they will never be a beekeeper. I am perfectly happy and content with the way that I am, and I have no interest in "trying it," "giving it a chance," or "getting used to it." I am not obligated to enjoy things I have no interest in, and neither do you.
You're allowed to be who you are, whether society thinks you're "normal" or not.
