Why Are Phone Calls So Hard?

I hate phone calls. I can sometimes get so used to them (when I have a job that makes me do them repeatedly) that I feel relatively neutral about doing them, but when left to my own devices for any stretch of time I just don't like calling people. Someone made a comment the other day that made this feel like it makes sense instead of like there's something wrong with me. 

I hate making phone calls because I can't see the other person. I have to rely on my (terrible) ability to interpret their tone and word choice without being able to reference their expression or posture to figure out what they mean or if they're upset with me. People don't get why I hate it so much but mostly it's because I'm so scared of not being able to understand their social cues.

And oh my god it makes sense. 

I already struggle with being able to tell whether or not someone is upset with me when I'm standing in the room and looking right at them. In addition, I have an auditory processing disorder that makes it difficult for me to understand noises when there are other noises happening in the same vicinity (like the radio, TV, traffic passing, another conversation, etc.) so I rely pretty heavily on being able to see someone speaking - partly reading lips, partly reading their expression. You'd be amazing how much difference it makes. 

Back when Covid first started becoming A Problem, I remember a gal coming into the clinic where I worked, wearing a fabric mask with a clear plastic window in so I could see her mouth. I loved how accessible and handicap-friendly that was, in addition to how much it helped me understand what she was saying. 

Now I'm figuring out that my intense dislike of phone calls might have something to do with that same issue. I'm scared of not being able to understand people. 

For whatever reason, this fear does not follow me through to emails or texts - I think mostly because I have time to think about my response and decide whether to ask for clarification or not before saying anything. I appreciate having that time to think. 

But on the phone? Nope! You gotta reply IMMEDIATELY or people start asking "are you there" and "did you hear me" and stuff like that. 

Can we just outlaw phone calls? Let texts replace them completely. Please. 

Chili Weather (haha)

The temperature of the world outside has suddenly taken a nose-dive into proper fall weather at last. The leaves are changing color, the wind is brisk, and it's time to break out the slow cooker and start making deliciousness. Today, I'm going to be sharing a recipe that I tweaked recently to better suit what ingredients I had on hand. I'm going to continue playing with this one, but I thought it turned out surprisingly well the first time, so I might as well write down this first iteration and share it with all of you who want to make some for yourself. 

• 1 lb ground turkey
• 1 qt chicken broth
• 1 can stewed diced tomato
• 1 can tomato paste
• 4 cans beans, drained (I used black and navy beans)
• 2 green bell peppers, chopped
• 1 yellow onion, diced
• cumin, chili powder, oregano to taste (I added ~2 tbs each) 

Add all ingredients to your crockpot and set to high for 3-4 hours, or low for 6-8. For extra flavor, add celery (2-3 stalks, chopped fine) and 1 tbs of minced garlic. 

I did not add any salt or pepper to this batch because I didn't have any on hand, but the way it turned out I didn't need any! If you decide to make this chili for yourself, please let me know how it turns out and what changes of your own that you made. I'd love to see what you do with it. :)