Couples' Clashes

Every couple fights (or argues, disagrees, etcetera).  It happens to all of us, especially as we first start to learn how to live together. Sometimes, though... I have that nagging little worry that how often we fight might be unhealthy. We bicker about the budget and snarl at one another about what defines "clean." We clash over how often to indulge in ice cream or whether or not brownie mix is a necessity in the kitchen (they're very persuasive about this one). 

So the question becomes "how often is too often," when it comes to lovers' squabbles? Am I just being difficult? Or is this normal? Is there even a "normal" amount of fights for a new couple to have? 

I did not ask Dr. Google about this. 

I did not scroll through Reddit for the answer. 

Instead, I asked my partner. "Do you think we're fighting more frequently than we used to, and is it too often?" The answer might surprise you. Instead of telling me I needed to get over myself (which was justified, by the way - I take things far too personally) or enumerating the fights we've been in and whose fault they were, my wonderful, intelligent, amazing partner thought for a minute, then said: 

"We don't usually fight about the same things more than once, except for money. I think that's just us learning how to live together." 

Did we have a short discussion about money after that and why we tend to fight more often about that? Yes, of course we did. But I think the important point is that we identified not who was at fault but what we were actually fighting about. 

And they're right. Usually we have one "big" argument about any given topic, and then it's set to rest. One or the other of us changes something small about the way we approach the topic and from there on, it's either not a problem or a problem that's already been dealt with. We have several such solutions in progress, including me learning how to clean things thoroughly enough to suit my partner's allergy needs. 

So all that considered, I think the answer is that we do not fight more than is healthy or normal. We're just more aware of it than some, and are actively working toward addressing the issues we clash about. 

And this pleases me.